Can you believe that Halloween is coming up again right around the corner? It seems like we just got done with the holidays from last year and they are creeping up on us again. You go in the store, and it's like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all rolled into one big holiday. My boys of coarse are loving it. And I love the holiday season. I think as soon as Halloween gets past us then the mood of everyone is like a million times better. It's like the upcoming holidays just makes people more polite, and friendly, and just plain happy. That's what I love about it. The holidays are different as a parent then they are when you're a kid yourself. It's funny how it changes, and I've been thinking a lot about it lately. When you're a kid Halloween is about candy, Thanksgiving is about eating, and maybe watching the parade or football game, and Christmas is about presents, and santa, and more presents! When you're a grown up and you have your own family I think the holidays are about something completely different. You go trick or treating with your kids, so you can watch them have a blast, and when they have a blast, it makes your day. Then on Thanksgiving it's about family and if you're a perfectionist like me, it's about making the perfect dinner and desserts, even if your family is going to tear into them and devour it all within 10 minutes. You still put forth the effort. Christmas, you go from believing in Santa, to not believing in Santa, to being Santa. My kids haven't hit the age yet where they don't believe in him, and I hope they don't for a long time, because I love the innocence in them, and how excited they get baking and decorating cookies for Santa, and writing their letters and getting their picture taken with him. The whole holiday season it's like they're excited and happy and I love it. I love watching them walk down the stairs in the morning to realize that Santa came. I know we go overboard every year, and some people might think that they are "spoiled" but I love watching their faces light up as they open each present, and realize Santa got them exactly what they wanted. I love driving around looking at Christmas lights and drinking hot chocolate with the kids. And yes I'm one of those crazy people who start playing Christmas CD's as soon as Halloween is over. But my kids love it, and so I love doing it. The holidays I think are just as amazing as an adult reliving it through your kids eyes. It's the best thing in the world knowing how excited they are going to get and being there to see it. They've changed their minds on Halloween costumes at least 10 times each, most people would get stressed about it, but I think it's hillarious. They like so many things they just can't decide. It's like a life or death decision here for them and they need to make the right one. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a kid to see the magic in the holidays again, but as a mom, I still do see it. You just have to look in their eyes and you'll know it's there.

This last week while my oldest son was at school me and my hubby went out front with our two kids and decided to wash the van. I love our van, when we bought it in 2005 it was brand new, and I love it....yes I feel like a soccer mom driving it, but it's a really nice van and the kids have plenty of space. Well we went all out cleaning it. We took all the seats out, and the carpets, and I scrubbed everything. It looked like a brand new van again. Then this past weekend we went on a 7 hour road trip to California with the kids and 7 hours back.......well let's just say the van looks worse than it did before we cleaned it. There are squished up cheerio's all over the floor, and odds and ends other snacks floating around. I can't help but almost start laughing when I look at it. I usually get really stressed out about messes, but I'm starting to learn one key thing that I wish someone would have told me when I first got pregnant with my oldest son......."THINGS ARE NEVER GOING TO BE PERFECT ONCE YOU HAVE KIDS." They just won't. There will be messes, and you're going to trip on toys, and have fingerprints on the walls and windows, and probably all over the tv. There is going to be dirty clothes laying around and a sink full of dishes. And you better believe as soon as I put the new table cloth on the table something is going to get spilled on it. But when you try to make the house look perfect, and neat and tidy, you'll miss out on the one important thing......your kids. It can be fun sometimes to just let those dishes sit in the sink for a while longer and sit down and do some finger painting with the kids. Because let's be honest......do your kids really care if the house is clean or messy? Do they care if the new table cloth matches the cloth napkins, and if the coffee table is cleared of it's clutter? And come on now....even if your house is perfect by 1 oclock is it really going to look the same way in about 2 hours. To me it seems like I'll clean the living room and head to the kitchen only to come back to the living room and hav it look like a tornado went through it. Or in my case, 3 tornado's! No my house isn't a mess.....but I'm starting to learn ways around the cleaning that takes all day. I keep a laundry basket in the living room, and at the end of the day, that's where all the kids toys go. When the basket gets too full I haul it upstairs and put them back in the toy room where they belong. I "cheat clean" whenever I have company coming over. It's a quick vaccume, and you spray febreeze and lysol everywhere. And you toss everything that doesn't go where it is in a laundry basket and stick it in the closet and take care of it when you have time. The kids are only kids for a little while. You'll have plenty of time to color cordinate the house when they've grown up. Hang out with them while they still want to be around you....because pretty soon you won't be "cool" enough to hang out with and then what are you going to do?

The years go by....'

I've been thinking a lot since my oldest son started Kindergarten. It's hard to believe the days of him being home all day are gone now. I knew he was starting school, but I didn't really realize that it was like a whole new stage in life, and that the old one would never come back. It can never go back. I mean yeah we have the summer vacations where he'll be home, but the older he gets the less and less time he's going to want to spend with me anyways. When we first started taking him to school we got to walk him all the way to his classroom and say goodbye to him there. After the first week of school though they have us drop him off at the gate and he has to walk back by himself. It was heartbreaking watching him walk by himself. But what's more heartbreaking is the first week he was doing it he would turn around and wave goodbye to us one more time when he got to his class, and those days are past now. He runs to his class and doesn't look back most of the time anymore. It's hard watching them grow. I remember when it was just me and him, before his brothers were born, and he would run around the house playing with me, and we would cuddle on the couch and watch Blues Clues or the Wiggles. Yes he still sits and watches tv with me or reads books with me, but it's not the same. 6 hours out of the day he's not at home, he's not here with me, and I don't know what he's doing. I know he's in good hands, and he loves school, but I just miss the days when he was home all day with me. So if you still have a little one at home, enjoy the time with them, because they go by fast, and before you know it they'll be off to school, and then the time flies by so fast you won't even believe it. Kids are amazing, and the years don't last nearly long enough. My middle one is about to turn 4 years old in less than a month. Next year he should be headed to Kindergarten too. Then I'll have two of them in school all day. The house will sure be a lot quieter, and you may think that that's a good thing, but I'll miss them.

Today there was something scary that happened in our house. It was almost set on fire. If circumstances had been different our whole house could have been lost along with everything in it. My kids were throwing their dirty clothes downstairs like they always do so it can go in the laundry room, and one item of clothing got stuck on the light at the top of the stairs. Well it started burning without us realizing it and it eventually set off all the smoke detectors and caught on fire. My husband is at work, and me and all 3 of my kids are downstairs. So I'm running through the house trying to figure out what's on fire. I found it thank goodness and turned the light off and drowned the clothes in water after I got it off the light. The whole house filled with smoke so I opened up all the windows and took the kids out to the car for a while. I was getting ready to take my oldest boy to school. What if we had left 5 minutes earlier like we usually do? What would have happened? My husband was working nights for the first time....we were only waiting for him to get home so he could come with us to drop our Kindergartener off at school. What if he hadn't worked nights that night? There are so many what if's. We don't know what could have happend. We're just thankful that I was able to stop it and get the kids out away from the smoke. So many worse things could have happened. No one was hurt, and we're only down one light bulb and a pair of kids underwear. So we are very lucky and we realize that. It's just scary to realize that because of certain circumstances things are ok, and someone must have been watching over you. Needless to say we are getting the kids a hamper for their room and clothes will no longer be tossed down the stairs. But it makes you really think and worry that something bad could happen. You need to take precautions to try and prevent them, and you need to cherish every moment that you do have with your family. Next time we may not be as lucky.

I think when you are between two and three month's pregnant you're more self conscious than you are as a teenage girl. You're in between the stage where you really look pregnant, yet you really don't look skinny. So when you're walking around you see people looking at you and you can tell they are wondering if you're pregnant or if you've just gained some weight. It makes you want to go out and buy a shirt that says "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant....and fat!" Kind of like they have the little onsies for babies that say "I am not a boy!" and "I am not a girl!" for babies since even if you dress your little boy all in blue, with a blue blanket people will still say "oh what a pretty girl." It's kind of irritating. It's hard to feel beautiful when you're pregnant when you throw up all day, feel like you're huge, and can't fit into any of your clothes at all. But having a little tiny baby inside you is beautiful, and this last week when I got my first ultrasound and I got a sneak peak at the little baby I never felt more beautiful. To have created a little life like that is just amazing. And when you have a little baby inside you, you fall in love with him/her before you've even met them. Even though I have 3 other kids, this one is a whole new baby and it's like your love grows with each child. Even though you think it couldn't possibly grow any more. So you know what I'll take all the odd looks from people as they pass me wondering if I'm pregnant or just haven't lost all the baby weight from the last baby. Because I know that there's a little miracle in my belly, and I'm probably never going to see any of those people again anyways, but the baby is mine forever.