Vacation.....

Do you ever get so stressed out and tired from a vacation that you feel like you need to take a vacation from your vacation? Every time I decide to take a trip home I get so excited about it, and yet by the end I'm so ready to leave I almost wish I wouldn't have come to begin with. I love my family, and my friends back home, but sometimes it seems like more of a hassle to come home than is worth it. Flying with 3 kids isn't easy for one. Then it seems like I do nothing but drive from place to place trying my hardest to make everyone happy, even though I know I can't make everyone happy unless I slit into like 10 people so I can spend time with everyone. I always leave from my vacation feeling tired, and guilty that I didn't get to spend a lot of time with everyone. My kids get so far off of any kind of schedule it takes weeks to put them back on one, and I've usually gained a few pounds since I wasn't eating like I normally do. I always feel like I'm just kind of homeless running from house to house to house and not really staying anywhere for very long. I wonder why vacations are so hard, yet I know as stressfull as this one was and how tired and ready to go home I am......I'll still look forward to the next one.

Coming home...

Life is kind of weird. You look forward to something, knowing that you're making more out of it than you should, and then it still dissappoints you when it doesn't work out the way you want it to. I think I expect too much from people, and I know they will let me down, I should expect it, and I should know better. I still get so upset and hurt when they do the things I know they will do. Why do I do this to myself. I guess it's because I think that people will change, and that people think the same about things as I do, even though they don't. Yet I know I won't stop doing it. I know I will get excited about things, and people, and be let down a million times over again. It's like a bad habbit I can't break, or don't want to....I want the hope. I want to hold out and think that people will surprise me and make an effort, but I know they won't. It's like a never ending cycle.