Just a thought

Yesterday we were driving around and we saw a funeral recession line led by police escorts on motorcycles. I actually got teary eyed even though I have no idea who's funeral it was, or any of the family members. The line had about 10 cars in it, it wasn't that long, but it still really got to me. I think about all of the people that have been in my life that I have lost, and remembered how I felt on the days of the funerals. I remember watching the news once listening to a hurst driver talking about how rude some people in other cars can be when they are behind the funeral lines. He said he's actually had people honk at him and flip him off because he was driving so slow. I couldn't believe hearing that. How would they feel if they were one of the family members in the car in line and people were honking at them. It's hard when you loose someone close to you and that's really the last thing that you need on a day like that. I want to teach my kids to show respect to those who have lost family or friends, the day is hard enough on them. I think I'll always tear up a little whenever I hear about a death, or see a funeral line, and even when I pass a cemetary. It's someone's loved one, and someone is missing them.

Vacation.....

Do you ever get so stressed out and tired from a vacation that you feel like you need to take a vacation from your vacation? Every time I decide to take a trip home I get so excited about it, and yet by the end I'm so ready to leave I almost wish I wouldn't have come to begin with. I love my family, and my friends back home, but sometimes it seems like more of a hassle to come home than is worth it. Flying with 3 kids isn't easy for one. Then it seems like I do nothing but drive from place to place trying my hardest to make everyone happy, even though I know I can't make everyone happy unless I slit into like 10 people so I can spend time with everyone. I always leave from my vacation feeling tired, and guilty that I didn't get to spend a lot of time with everyone. My kids get so far off of any kind of schedule it takes weeks to put them back on one, and I've usually gained a few pounds since I wasn't eating like I normally do. I always feel like I'm just kind of homeless running from house to house to house and not really staying anywhere for very long. I wonder why vacations are so hard, yet I know as stressfull as this one was and how tired and ready to go home I am......I'll still look forward to the next one.

Coming home...

Life is kind of weird. You look forward to something, knowing that you're making more out of it than you should, and then it still dissappoints you when it doesn't work out the way you want it to. I think I expect too much from people, and I know they will let me down, I should expect it, and I should know better. I still get so upset and hurt when they do the things I know they will do. Why do I do this to myself. I guess it's because I think that people will change, and that people think the same about things as I do, even though they don't. Yet I know I won't stop doing it. I know I will get excited about things, and people, and be let down a million times over again. It's like a bad habbit I can't break, or don't want to....I want the hope. I want to hold out and think that people will surprise me and make an effort, but I know they won't. It's like a never ending cycle.

"Stuff"

Life is kind of crazy. You always think life is about all the "things" you have, and who has more, or whose is better......it never ends. We haven't had anything for a couple months since we moved and our stuff is still being shipped here and I've realized that the more you have, the longer it takes to clean it, and the less time you have for things that are fun. I had a water balloon fight with the kids today. It didnt take more than the house outside and some water balloons. The kids had a blast. Yeah we don't have our couches to sit on yet, but that just means there is more room to play duck duck goose in, and run around playing tag in the house. Now don't get me wrong I miss all of our things as much as the kids probably miss all their toys, but they aren't important. I've realized that we're still happy with just our family and we can still manage to have fun without all of our stuff. I think it makes the kids appreciate their things more when we don't have them, but they also realize that it's just stuff and that family is more important.